Sunday, June 2, 2013

Listening To Child Abuse Survivor Stories

By Michelle Howe


People who have survived traumatic circumstances often want to help others avoid or overcome similar events in their lives. Finding happiness after a childhood filled with neglect and abuse can be difficult if people have no one to look to or learn from as they rebuild their lives. Listening to others' child abuse survivor stories can give people the courage to rebuild their futures and realize that they had no fault in what happened to them. They may find the strength to be happy and live productive lives.

This optimism may be difficult to achieve if they cannot forget others' doubts about their own accounts. Many victims are not believed when they try to tell authority figures. Parents, teachers, and other adults might be inclined to believe that adolescent victims are making things up or trying to get their abuser in trouble out of revenge. This particular is the case when the abuser is a respected figure in the community.

As other adults refute their claims of mistreatment, children may become depressed and give up the fight to escape their abuser. They may feel that they have no choice but to let that individual do what he or she wants. This depression can be so severe that it leads to despondency and total withdrawal from society. This inability to engage with the world can haunt them even as they reach adulthood.

Because of their depression and lack of hope, people may be inclined to dismiss any thoughts of happiness. They may internalize that blame that was put on them earlier and refuse to engage fully in life. Hearing and reading about others' survival can help these individuals come to realize that the blame belongs to their abuser rather than them. These accounts may help them realize that they were powerless to stop what was happening.

Listening to others' tales of survival also can give people the courage to seek counseling. Many survivors cannot rebuild their lives without professional counseling. They need the objectivity of a therapist to help them put the events of the past in perspective. Sometimes hearing a therapist assure them that the neglect was not their fault and that the events were not within their control can be the key to allowing these individuals to move on with their lives.

If they do not know a survivor personally, people may wonder where they can find such stories. These individuals might be encouraged to check out their local bookstores or libraries. Many adults write novels that detail their circumstances and provide helpful tips to overcoming such trauma. Many victims who write novels are featured in the news as they promote their books.

The Internet is also quickly becoming the meeting place for survivors who shared similar past experiences. They may be invited to recount what happened to them and how they have been able to move on. In doing so, these individuals could set the model on which other survivors base their futures.

Taking child abuse survivor stories to heart may allow victimized individuals to look to the future. These accounts might provide them with the insight these people need to find happiness, courage, and determination to live happy lives that are free from doubt and guilt. They can find such accounts online or in novels that are available at bookstores and libraries.




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